hat does it take to have a successful marriage?! Chase and I actually asked ourselves this question the weekend before his surgery. I answered with - communication, appreciation and playfulness. Chase responded with - communication, compromise and the ability to keep the relationship feeling 'new'. I think we're both probably right... but what I'm realizing now is that it's so much more.  
 
For the past two weeks, I have sat at Chase's bedside in the ICU. I have kissed his cheeks and told him that everything was going to be okay, even when I was scared to death. I have bathed him, yelled at the nurses when I felt they weren't doing their best, and I've spent hours by his bed, even while he was sleeping... just to be there. But it's not even these things that make a successful marriage... it's the fact that I have LOVED taking care of him and making him smile despite what he's gone through. I haven't necessarily loved 'hollering' at the nurses, but it's made me realize that I'll do anything to make sure Chase is okay. When he's laying on the bed asleep, I pray that God heals his heart... and that he gives me his pain - so that he can sleep a little easier. I pray for Chase and do these things for him selflessly - and I think that's what makes a marriage successful. Selflessness. And I tell you these things, humbled... not in a boastful manner. I'm pretty sure that up until I met Chase - I loved others selfishly... I loved the 'wrong' way.... Realizing this, is very humbling. 
 
We found out today that Chase has to undergo another open heart surgery tomorrow morning. We have stayed in the ICU for an extra week with the hopes that the complication that came-about would get better on its own - but unfortunately it hasn't. The surgery is a little more complicated than the previous one, but I know that God will guide the hands of the surgeon and Chase will come out even stronger than before. I've been pretty silent most of the day today -- I've been trying to make little jokes to lighten the mode - epic failure - but I've 'tried' to keep a strong face for Chase. He's smarter than that though - he can see right through my little jokes and crooked smile. We ended up taking a short walk around the ICU earlier today - stopped and prayed for a little while, and just talked about the risks of the surgery.  
 
He told me that everything was going to be okay, even though he's scared. He loves me selflessly..... enough to do that for me....  
 
I love him for that.  
 
You truly find out who someone is when you go through something like this. I told Chase earlier today that 'I didn't think it was possible for me to love him anymore. I really didn't. I didn't think it was possible for me to appreciate him anymore than I already do... but I do. I am more in love with him today, than I was when I married him - and somehow, in the midst of 'life' - I have found a new appreciation for him. I never thought that was possible. ' Chase looked down at me and said... 'I am so glad that I have you... to love me the way you do.' 
 
I love him for that too. 
 
So yes, it does take communication, appreciation and keeping the relationship playful to have a successful marriage..... but really, in the end - you have to love one another selflessly in order to make it work..... You can't be selfish and expect things to magically fall into place.  
 
Love is selfless. 
 
 
Chase in a super small wheel-chair..... the luxuries of being in the ICU at CHKD