ey you... it's been a while hasn't it!? 
 
You've seen sporadic posts from Emily... but you haven't heard from ME in a while -- the last time I wrote was back in August... Before Ava, I used to blog every day... sharing weddings/sessions... and thoughts from my heart... It's been hard to get back into blogging.... it's hard for me to whip up a blog post or keep a blogging calendar - so I need TIME to write... I have to write from the heart.... blogging has just taken a back seat in my business... sadly... 
 
I've found myself many days - just wishing for an afternoon where I can just sit and write... my favorite kind of writing is what's called free-writing... it's what I'm doing now... I've talked about it before on the blog, but basically you just WRITE... with no regard to what in the world you're saying... how you're spelling... or where punctuation goes... I've learned SO much about myself and my heart and what's bothering me by doing this. This is the number one reason why all of my blogging calendars have failed!!!! Now Emily has a blogging calendar I've created (albeit, she's realized how much TIME it takes to prep a blog lol) -- but it works great for her! 
 
So what's new with me!?!? 
 
1. Ava just turned TWO... two.. she's freaking two.. which means two years ago I was recovering from a c-section -- crying because I couldn't get up and walk with her and feeling like a failure because I didn't have a traditional birth. 
 
2. Now that the Associate Photographers program is officially entering its second year and BLOOMING so beautifully... I have officially decided to stop taking on as many weddings of my OWN... In fact, I have only accepted THREE weddings so far for 2016... I am wanting to focus more on boudoir and take on a select few weddings of my own.. the Associates on the other hand are busy working with some AMAZING bride and grooms!!!! Now... can you imagine how scary this is for me though... exciting BUT scary!!!! Going from 26 weddings in 2015... to only having accepted THREE... That's EXCITING and terrifying! I'm excited to see where this year takes me!!! We have some really exciting plans for the next year or two -- so I'll be eager to share more about that later!!! SO if you know of anyone who wants some beautiful... romantic.. sweet + lacey photos... shoot them my way.. it's where my heart is and I'll take GREAT care of them and provide them with beautiful photos and such a fun experience! 
 
3. I still wear gym clothes every day.... that's nothing new. 
 
4. Speaking of the gym.. this time last year -- I was still rocking quite a bit of that baby weight... I lost a total of 66lbs and a TON of inches... I'm back at my pre-pregnancy weight, but I lost a bunch of my muscle mass, so I'm hoping to keep toning and turning some more of that baby-pudge into mommy-muscles =) It's still crazy to say that I've lost that much weight. 
 
5. I am no longer offering 'workshops'... at least for now.. I'm going to be focusing on my 6 SEP girls -- and they'll be getting the best of me workshop wise!!! I HAVE considered offering some styled shoots though... but no set dates/plans yet!!!! I am still offering one-on-one mentoring though... but I've really limited that availability as well! I really want to focus on my girls and give them the best of me... they deserve it! 
 
6. One thing I've just really grown to accept about myself in this past year... is that my definition of success looks SO different from many other folks in this industry... and I ACCEPT that... I used to be pretty insecure about it... and it's easy to look at numbers/likes/followers and get discouraged in comparison to other folks... BUT... it isn't where I find my success (not that they do, but this is what I've had to remind myself of when accepting 'success' for me).... My success is found in creating a thriving business in my small town... creating opportunities for people -- and helping them learn and grow.... and of course creating TIME and being INTENTIONAL about spending time with my family!!! I am such a home-body and I never thought I'd ever be that way BECAUSE I DO love to travel... but I love staying in my little town.. shooting here... it's BEAUTIFUL here... and I love being near my family.... traveling!?!? I'd prefer not to work and do that with Ava and Chase... that makes me feel CRAZY, I tell you.. it really does... but I have SO much peace and joy when I'm here at home or only 5 minutes from them. Our little town has so much to offer and I love inviting out of town folks here!!! NOW don't get me wrong.. for the right people.. I WILL travel for work..... but it has to be for someone really down-to-the-core beautiful and who I find a true connection with.... I won't leave my family for just anyone!!!  
 
7. I still hate talking on the phone... nothing new there either. 
 
8. I'm officially a 17hats user... I remember signing up when they first 'opened' up... and staring at it like NOPE.. not going to use you - you are so new and not anything that I'm used to... I'm such a traditional business owner -- paper calendar... filing systems... But after mentoring a local photographer and hearing her rave about it... I gave it a try at the beginning of the year.. and HOLY easy... It has made my booking system so much easier!!! All of my clients are in one place.. I highly recommend it for those of you on the fence!!! You can still print out info/questionnaires/contracts - which makes my old-school heart happy!!! 
 
9. We are coming up on Chase's FOUR YEAR heart surgeries anniversary.. WHAT IN THE HELL?!!?!? How has it been almost four years... He's in the best shape of his life now!!! This also means that it's been four years since my mom was undergoing chemo and radiation for her stage III cancer diagnosis and awaiting her next surgery date... she's doing AMAZING now and is -God willing - cancer free -- this also means it's been 3 years and 9 days since we lost our sweet angel --- and now we have our BEAUTIFUL little Ava ---- what a blessed family we are!!!! Coming from a couple of REALLY bad years in 2011 and 2012 to being immensely blessed and healed. I am so thankful for this blog and for each of you who allowed me to really open up and talk about our struggles... you helped me heal. I appreciate you. 
 
10. I am officially entering my 8th year of business... and my 4th year of being full time... That's INSANE... what a beautiful journey it's been... From purchasing my first 'big girl camera' in 2008 to now running a successful business with 6 team-members... I never expected to be where I am... I'm so grateful for everyone who has trusted me and chosen 'me' all these years!!! I'm SO excited to see the new changes and growth that's still to come!