I
tucked my head into the pillow and squeezed as hard as I could... in hopes that this wasn't real - that everything that we had been going through - was all just a dream..... a nightmare. The yanking on my heart and the twisting in my throat, brought me to tears.... I had carved a path into the tile in the hallway... I paced back and forth as if doing so, would actually make me feel better. I screamed out for my mom like a little girl who had just lost her puppy... literally...... and in that very moment, I felt the floor beneath me begin to crumble. I crumbled.
I have NEVER in my entire life... felt the way I felt like I did this past weekend.
We almost lost him... twice.
And by lost... I mean lost.... like, go home to myself for the rest of my life. Lost.
I thought to myself, Chase is supposed to be the one that helps me get through tough times like this.... he shouldn't have to go through this alone either. There was nothing that either of us could do for one another. One of the worst feeling in the world.
I won't go into too much detail, because it would be like reliving this experience all over again... but this is by far the hardest thing I have EVER had to go through. It's been hard losing grandparents.... even finding out that my mom has cancer was extremely difficult for me.... but nothing can compare to these past few weeks.
If any of you need me, I will be clinging to Chase's legs, riding his shoes.... and never letting go.
please turn up volume, as sound is somewhat soft
and please.. by all means. excuse my sniffles.
Add a Comment